This is a question that many woman have had to ask themselves for centuries.
It’s only in recent decades that divorce has really been an option for women
whether their husbands cheated or not.
While it’s hard to believe in silver linings right now, the bright and shining one
for you is that many marriages do survive cheating spouses and yours probably
When you look at the number of relationships with cheating husbands or partners, the numbers
are truly staggering and heart -breaking.
Statisticbrain.com says that 41 percent of marriages have one or both spouses
admitting to infidelity (emotional or physical). The really shocking news though
is that, for perhaps the first time in history, men and women are cheating on almost
an equal scale.
Fifty-seven percent of men admit to cheating in any relationship they’ve had
and 54 percent of women admit to cheating.
While the numbers themselves aren’t encouraging, 31 percent of marriages do
survive (and last) after the affair has been discovered.
When you consider that 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, those numbers
are a little more promising.
But, how does this help you find forgiveness for the man who broke your heart and
the the vows you made together?
So, if you are asking, “Ho do I forgive my cheating husband”?
Here are some steps that should help …
Allow Yourself Time to Process the Emotional Blow
This isn’t a light confession like drinking milk out of the carton or forgetting to take
the garbage to the road on trash pickup day.
Needing or wanting to forgive a cheating husband is a big deal!
You need to allow yourself the time, and space, you need to really process what has
happened, how you feel about what has happened, and what YOU want to happen next.
Don’t allow yourself to be bullied, cajoled, pushed, or dragged into a situation you’re not
emotionally prepared to dive into.
It’s too much and could put you into meltdown mode where you withdraw from everything
That’s not good for anyone or your marriage.
Be Selfish for a Little While
There’s nothing wrong with watching him work his way back into your good graces.
While it’s not cool to allow him to keep trying to win you over if you know you’re
going to leave, there’s nothing wrong with dragging it out a little bit to watch him
pay some sort of penance.
It won’t make up for the pain. It certainly won’t take the pain away.
But there is some sort of sadistic pleasure you can derive from it, and well the Universe
owes you a small dark moment or two in wake of a blow like this.
Women have been taught to blame themselves when their
Even in this more enlightened and empowered times in which we
live there are still other women,prominent clergy, and
countless politicians who drive home the idea that the
woman is the one at fault when men stray.
Stop swimming in blame and guilt over actions that
weren’t your own.
You can’t own his actions any more than he can own yours. He did the cheating.
But once you forgive yourself for his cheating, you’ll find that it’s much easier to
forgive him for doing the cheating.
The path to forgiveness in infidelity is one of the most painful and surprising paths to walk.
When you follow these steps, you’ll find that it’s easier to walk (though by no means easy) than
you would have ever thought possible otherwise.