Resist Competing With Your Husband’s Affair Partner

Resist competing with your husband’s affair partner, it will not help you to feel better about yourself!

Here is why I say that.

It is demeaning to you and just about convinces your husband that you feel that you are either:

  • Not good enough or
  • That you feel responsible for his affair.

In other words he might now feel justified in his moral lapse and betrayal of his vows.

If you know and like who you are then you must remain true to yourself and leave the responsibility for cheating completely on your husband’s shoulders and allow him to make his choice between you and the other woman.

Remember that as painful and scary as it is, that is his right as an adult.

If he decides to leave you for the other women that he was cheating with then you will have to accept his decision.

One of the reasons many victims of cheating spouses becomes so consumed with the details of the cheater’s partner is so that they can compete with them, please do not do that to yourself.

While it is likely that the shock of your spouse’s cheating can cause you feel so lost and alone that your identity might become shaky you should not compound this trauma by actually trying to become the partial object of your pain, suffering and shame.

Your husband has invited this other woman into your lives as a very hurtful and rude intrusion so to try to compete is like validating his betrayal of you and your union.

My advice is this:

  • Decide if you want to stay with your husband and save and rebuild your marriage
  • Then talk it over with him TO see if also feels the same way

Be firm about him breaking off the affair with the other woman if he decides to stay.

Then be glad that you did not try to compete or change yourself into someone who he  only thought he wanted.

Because now you know that he is really choosing you and that is a strong foundation on which to rebuild your relationship.

As always, I wish you healing and joy in your marriage!

Help You Save Your Marriage 

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One Response to Resist Competing With Your Husband’s Affair Partner

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