How Not To Panic After His Affair In Your Marriage!

June 2, 2015 by Yvonne Finn

Don’t panic after his affair!”   I know you will be thinking “are you crazy?”

But hear me out! When we panic, we  usually shut down or make snap decisions that we will later regret and which we  might not be able to reverse.

Believe me when I tell you that I speak from personal experience.

So, after his affair, be angry and let him know just how betrayed and humiliated you feel.

But learn how not to panic after his affair and say or do things that will take you to divorce court.
Not if you ultimately want to save your marriage and rebuild your relationship.

You will never hear me tell you that this will be easy, because it  most certainly will be  one of the most difficult
experiences of your life.

Some days you will feel like giving up.

But when I say, “don’t panic after his affair” what I mean is not to let fear and overwhelming anger drive him further away from you and PERMANENTLY into the arms of someone else, that is unless you do not want to save your marriage.

Discover How To Prevent Your Relationship From Getting To Its Breaking Point Here!

If you panic after his affair you could end up feeling as if you are going crazy, literally losing your mind and that is not a good state in which to make decisions of any kind, let alone one as important as Saving Your Marriage  or ending it.


The whole mix of  negative feelings and haunting images
that you are experiencing is natural and you should take
the time needed to process them.
But, if you allow yourself to become irrational, this will take longer than it need be
and could make a traumatic situation a permanent obstacle
in your aim to Saving Your Marriage

Panic is fear-based and will not empower you to deal with the actual facts of his affair.

Getting back to your former rational self is one of the MOST effective ways of saving your marriage!

Healing The Pain Of Infidelity And Melting Your Man’s Heart

April 22, 2015 by Yvonne Finn

Healing the pain of infidelity can seem like an unrealistic and impossible dream when you first learn of your spouse’s devastating betrayal.

When a couple first get together to start their relationship, everything can be so rosy, perfect and happy that infidelity and the ensuing pain that it causes is unimaginable.

But when your relationship has been damaged by infidelity and you want to heal from the pain and eventually mend and save your marriage then you must find effective ways that will help you do this.

At first, the thought of forgiving your cheating spouse is not something you feel you will ever be able to do; however, this is something you will need to do, not just for them but for you and your marriage.

Healing the pain of infidelity starts with your decision to forgive your partner and accept that their cheating is now :

  • An irreversible part of your relationship story

  • And which you will now work on to put behind you and move on together.

Until you have taken this first step there will be nothing on which to rebuild your marriage!

Forgiving and accepting your spouse’s infidelity does not mean that you condone it or suddenly stop feeling betrayed and angry, it simply means that you are no longer trying to deny or block it out.

It has been said, that you can’t fix a problem until you accept that there is one and that is why facing your partner’s infidelity is so important in the mending of your relationship.   

Unless your spouse has become a serial cheater and no longer cares about you and your marriage then your willingness to forgive them will provide a starting point to help with healing the pain of infidelity and Saving Your Marriage

 

Time and loving commitment are also necessary and integral begin healing the pain of infidelity.

If you are the spouse who has been cheated on you will need to tell your unfaithful spouse exactly what you will need from them in order to feel valued, safe and secure in the relationship again.

Never be pressured into “moving on” until you feel that you have worked through the anguish and pain of your partner’s infidelity.

Sometimes a cheating spouse may want to quickly reconcile past their infidelity and sweep the whole hurtful event under the rug.

This is perhaps because of the shame and guilt that they are feeling, due in part to the pain they have caused you by cheating.

However, if you do not take the time that you feel that you need to heal from infidelity and put it firmly in the past then you might find the unresolved anger re-surfacing again and again in the future which will cause setbacks and make the process of reconciliation longer than it needs to be.  

Learn how to forgive your spouse!
Work through the pain of infidelity

Survive The Affair Together

April 1, 2015 by Yvonne Finn

Survive the affair together even if only one of you cheated but you want to save your marriage.

Fortunately, there are many couples who have managed through:

  • Hard work
  • Loving commitment
  • Good guidance AND support

To rebuild their broken marriage and go on to live happy and enjoyable lives TOGETHER.

To survive the affair together, both of you will have to decide that your marriage is:

  • Worth saving
  • Worth working for

It will not be easy and there may be many setbacks as you work to:

  1. Rebuilding trust
  2. Control haunting infidelity images
  3. Learn to forgive
  4. Re-establish intimacy, etc.

An affair is one of the most damaging events of any marriage and some relationships
do not survive the trauma.

Will yours?

If you decide that your marriage still has value to you and both you and your spouse
want to survive the affair together.
Then I would like to recommend the following resource to help you heal and rebuild your
relationship.
After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful

Survive an Affair FREE course
Click here and learn how to survive an affair (FREE course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg)

To survive the affair together you must resolve not to call it quits before giving your
marriage every opportunity to be healed.
Even if all you can do right now is meet each others basic needs, then do that!
Keep the lines of communication open even if all you do is just say “Hi” or “Goodnight”.

 

Generously Forgiving Makes Surviving An The Affair Possible

February 17, 2015 by Yvonne Finn

Generously forgiving your spouse can make it more possible to survive the affair
and stay together.

I am not discounting or minimizing how hurt you feel and how difficult it can be
to be forgiving of such a betrayal in your marriage.
However, forgiving while still bearing a grudge towards him or her will only poison
the relationship going forward.
Many spouses say they have forgiven an affair but then they will never again trust
their mate.
Is that really forgiveness? And can a marriage be all that it should be without mutual
trust?

I don’t think it can and I hope you don’t either!

Forgiveness for such a traumatizing hurt as an affair will not come easily.
So, don’t rush it or try to sweep it under the proverbial rug.
Take your time! Talk through it. Get the root cause of why the affair happened.

Then when you feel ready to forgive, do so with all the generosity that you can.
Forget the grudge bearing, tight- fisted  forgiveness that some couples have in
their relationship with each other.

Marriage requires unrestricted intimacy and closeness.

You will not enjoy that without trust!

Forgive and learn to trust again …

Read more about forgiveness here …

 

 

Coping With Emotional Affairs

January 22, 2015 by Yvonne Finn

What are emotional affairs and how to cope with them and save your
marriage or relationship?

According to Oprah.com, emotional affairs are the new adultery.
Is she correct?
Well, many of these types of connections do lead to physical cheating.

But even when they don’t they can be devastating to the other partner
in the relationship, because it is felt as a kind of betrayal of intimacy.

Some spouses even go so far as to say that they could handle a sexual
affair  by their partner better than an emotional one!

Whether that is true or not; emotional affairs are confusing and damaging
to the healthy connections needed to maintain the primary union.

To cope with an emotional affair both spouses must agree that it is an issue
AND the one having the affair must decide to stop it immediately with no excuses.
That is to say: The emotional affair is not going to be allowed to cause irreparably
harm to the marriage.

Because an emotional affair is often nonsexual the spouse who is having one can claim
that there is no harm being done.
However, that is not true for the partner who feels left out and emotionally betrayed.

Now Discover “Getting From Hello To Forever Together

 

Making Up When You Do Not Feel Like It

January 5, 2015 by Yvonne Finn

All couples have disagreements and some of these quarrels can become so
divisive and intense that the couple even consider breaking up instead of making up.
However, it takes wisdom to resolve the contentious issue(s) in a timely and gracious
manner to reconcile to move on together.

It is not the dispute that ends the relationship; it is the unwillingness
to “give an inch” on the part of one or both partner(s).
Making up when you do not feel like it then becomes the only way to move forward.

This is based on two important elements:

  • How mature you are
  • How much you value the relationship

Learn to forgive and rebuild communication!

It takes maturity to look at a situation objectively and own our part in it.
This means how are we contributing to what is or has happened and what
we are prepared to do to fix what needs repairing.

Being mature also means allowing this same privilege to your spouse.
Listen respectfully to their side of things before jumping in to shout or
shut them down!

Many couples say they value their relationship with their spouse above
everything, yet rush to break up at the first sign of trouble.
How much do you value your union and has it really been tested?

Remember that people are not throw away items and everyone wants
to be valued and given a second chance.
Don’t you?

Discover How to Make Up with Your Partner after a Fight

Saving Your Marriage – An Alternative To Marriage Counseling

November 15, 2014 by Yvonne Finn

FREE Report: Alternative to Marriage Counseling

Download this FREE alternative to marriage counseling report from Marriage Sherpa. Add your name and email below to receive this FREE report and Marriage Sherpa’s FREE course. This program outlines the keys to:

  • Save the marriage yourself…
  • Bring your spouse home…
  • Restore the trust…
  • Rebuild the honesty…
  • How to forgive…
  • Have fun again…
  • How to talk about…
  • Rebuild the intimacy…

First Name
Email

Saving your marriage -an alternative to marriage counseling blueprint is for those couples
committed to saving their marriage relationship on their own.
They are very sure and clear-eyed about the work and emotional strength that it will
take to get past the trauma of infidelity.

They know that they will have to address some of the following issues successfully if they want
to save the relationship:

Want more exciting marriage and relationship advice?

Then please head over to Your Relationship Whisperer now
Here you will discover that your marriage can actually can setup to
succeed or fail from the moment you decide to become a couple.
How honest you are with yourself and each other can set the tone for
how your relationship going forward.
This is the reason it is the most important component of a long-term
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No relationship can just be setup and left on its own!

It must be nurtured and cared for and adjustments will be necessary along
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